Oct 26, 2011

Day 18/180: Willpower challenges

One of my deep-seated psychological problems is an aversion to waste. I am one of those people who gets more pleasure from turning the turkey carcass and the scrag-ends of vegetables into soup than I get from the original dinner. My youngest son won't eat leftovers usually and my wife always cooks more food than we need.

This is one of the reasons that I am fat. There is some kind of moral imperative hidden in my head that keeps saying to me, "You know they're not going to eat it. It will just sit in the refrigerator and dry out or go bad If you don't eat it. Only you can save it from being wasted." I'm sure this moral imp was put there by my parents. Leaving food on your plate was a mortal sin which would have my father intoning:
"Waste not, want not,
for you shall live to say
ah how I wish I had the crust
that once I threw away."
Last night there was a hamburger left over from dinner and left out to tease me. I resisted, and I believe that it was finally fed to the dog (who is boarding with us for a few days and is also not supposed to have it). Tonight there are the remnants of a fish chowder in a pot on the back of the stove. It will migrate into the fridge where it will be forgotten until the archaeologists find it.

I love fish chowder. In addition to hating the waste of it, I really love the stuff. I can deal with the burgers, the steak tips, the turkey, the bacon, etc. I just have to get past the revulsion against throwing food out. But there are things I really miss like: fish and clam chowders, oysters, mussels, cheeses of all varieties, hard Italian sausages like salami and pepperoni.

Why am I torturing myself.

Tonight's dinner was not recipe-worthy though it was tasty. I prepared some kasha (buckwheat groats) with mushrooms and vegetable bouillon. Then I made a roux with whole wheat flour and olive oil, added a salt-free Cajun spice mix for some flavor and added 2/3 cup each of frozen corn and frozen peas. I put the latter on top of the former and there was dinner.

It wasn't quite as satisfying as I wanted so now I'm having a small bowl of muesli with unsweetened soy milk and washing it down with a cup of peppermint tea.

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